Virgin Suicides
by Sunset's Crying
Summary: Your eyes shine with the sun. I'm scared. What do they see? Surely it's only me? This is the story version of Len's Virgin Suicides.
1. Fragility

Hi everyone! So I was listening to Len's _Virgin Suicides _and I really wanted to make a story for it. So here it is! Or well, the first chapter anyways. This is rated T for just in case.

This is in Rin's point of view, btw. Enjoy!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Vocaloid or the song virgin suicides in any way, shape, or form.

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My brother had always been a fragile person. It's so hard to explain but he just … was. I think it was change. Yeah, that would probably be it. Growing taller made him uncomfortable. He refused to look at pictures. And puberty was absolutely unbearable. The idea that I, his twin no longer looked identical to him was almost too much for him to handle.

But I always thought it'd be okay. I thought he'd be able to handle it all. Slowly, surely, but ok in the end. Guess not.

He bought her home on a Sunday and she was a beauty that I couldn't help but be jealous of. Long flowing pink hair, a tall, lean body….generous in the chest area. But what captivated me the most were her eyes. They were bluer and brighter than the sky. Would it be funny to say that I almost drowned?

So when she went home that day, I planned on teasing him. I planned on congratulating him a befriending such a beauty. Except I couldn't.

Instead of the happiness I'd expected, I sensed…fear. Looking so unbelievably fragile, he looked at me and whispered "Rin. I can't tell what she sees. Is it only me?"

Moments past in perfect silence. I was shocked but at the same time….I couldn't bear to ask. Not then.

And so stupidly, I grinned like an idiot and told him "But of course!" and he released the smallest of smiles.

They started to go out soon after, Len and his beauty. At first, their relationship the exact image of perfection, as if they were in a shoujo manga. They would always walk to school together, hands entwined. She started to bring obentos and join Len and I for lunch until it was just Len and her.

It didn't take an epiphany for me to realize that I was being replaced. It's how the whole boyfriend-girlfriend thing works after all. I have to admit, I was a bit upset that we separated so quickly, but nether less, I was still happy for him. Together, she and Len just seemed so happy, so carefree in their little world with a population of two.

And then, it wasn't perfect.

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So what do you guys think so far? I'm a newbie so any reviews or opinions would be well appreciated ^^

I'll try to update soon, k?


	2. Bloom and Wilt

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Vocaloid or the song virgin suicides in any way, shape or form.

_Italics _mean flashbacks.

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There was a certain point in time in which I stopped going into Len's room. Somewhere between puberty and Len's new beauty, Len and I started to drift apart. So as I stood in front of his door that day, I realized that I was scared. Scared to knock, scared to call out his name. And what bothered me the most was that I didn't know why. I just was.

But at the same time, I was worried. He had stopped eating so much and he barely came out of his room unless it was to be with _her_. And oddly enough, the calendars were disappearing. Every time I put one up, it disappeared within a couple hours. Somehow, I knew it was him.

And I stood in front of his door for what seemed like hours until I just decided to open the thing. Because if anything, I was so sure that despite it all, I was the one that knew my precious brother the most. And just like I had done my entire life, I was going to be there for him. I was going to fix his problems. At that moment, that conclusion was nothing less than a fact - a naïve thought, if anything.

And as I opened that door, I remember that all I could see was white. Because littered on the floor, the bed, the desk and every other part imaginable were scraps of papers. No - calendars. And sitting in the middle of it all, was Len.

Everything I had wanted to say left my mouth. My words had drowned in white. But what caught my attention the most were the dead flowers, the smashed flowers, the ruined flowers. They too were everywhere, all gently placed in cups of water, as if that would save them. But one look at those flowers made it clear that they weren't coming back to life anytime soon. And as I stared, I remembered a day back in September.

_"Len! Let's go! We're going to be late again!"_

_"….Rin. Look. It's dying." _

_"Yes Len. That's what flowers do, ya know? They bloom, they wilt, and then they die. It's something called life."_

_"But….it would have lived longer if someone hadn't stepped on it…"_

_"True…but life isn't always fair….Anyways, we should go – "_

_"This will happen to you to, won't it?" _

_"What will happen to me?"_

_"You too will wilt and die, won't you?"_

_"Well…yeah…but so will you...and everyone else…..but don't worry, I'll last much longer than a flower! You can't get rid of me **that** easily! Now COME-ON! We're really gonna be late now!"_

_I __remember_ reaching out my hand, and he grasped it so tightly, as if afraid that I too would disappear right before his eyes.

And so as I stared at the dead flowers decorating his room, I couldn't but wonder about his intentions.

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There's part two! Reviews would be greatly loved ^^

And to Miss Piyototo...please don't kill me~~~I won't be able to update if you do...


	3. Insanity

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Vocaloid or the song virgin suicides in any way, shape or form.

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It was sound of Len's voice that snapped me out of my trance. Except, it was really more of a whisper, if anything. A sound that barely existed.

Moments passed before I quietly asked: "Len, why…are there destroyed calendars in your room?"

And he just stared. His eyes met mine, and I remember thinking that they looked so…so…empty. Those eyes, the ones with the same blue as mine, they were devoid of light. To my shame, I remember being scared…

It could have been seconds before he answered. But it also could have been minutes, hours, an eternity. But when he did, it was the voice of a puppet; hollow, wooden and awkward.

**"Rin…they were mocking me." **

**"Mocking you…?"**

**"Yeah….mocking me."**

I remember being shocked. I didn't know what to say to that. I didn't know how to comfort him. But before I could think of anything, he spoke again.

**"Luka keeps wanting to plan dates and stuff in advance."**

**"….Well….isn't that good? Doesn't that usually mean that she likes to spend time with you and would like to do it more?"**

**"NO! SHE CAN'T!"**

**"She…she can't what?" **

**"Dammit Rin! Tomorrow! She can't look towards tomorrow! Don't you realize? By tomorrow, she'll be different. She'll be another day older. More moments lost! **

**Between today and tomorrow, she could get hurt, earn another scar, another mark. She'll grow older. Older! She'll continue to wilt. She'll continue to lose her beauty. Soon, her eyes will cloud. Wrinkles will form. Don't you see, soon…soon….her beauty will become stained, lost, forever! And what use is a flower without its beauty?! **

**Rin, help me! It's so frightening! So frightening. I love her. I don't want her to change. I want her to stay beautiful, forever. Rin. Don't you see? Tomorrow could be the day we lose it all forever. Rin…I don't want to lose her…."**

By that point, he was crying. My dear, precious Len was absolutely bawling. And I didn't know how to make it stop.

So I'll admit it because I can't deny it.**_ I was so scared_**_. _

By that point, I had lost all control of the situation, of Len. For the first time, in a long time, felt…I felt…so _useless_. I couldn't help him, comfort him…nothing. All I could do was stand there and try. Try to find the words to help him, save him. Because at that point, I still had hope. So once again, I tried to speak, to say the words that would save us both. But once again, I was too late; because once again, he asked that wretched question:

**"Rin. I can't tell what she sees. Is it only me?"**

That time, I couldn't answer with the same surety I did before. I hesitated…

**"Rin. You've noticed it too, right? Her eyes are brighter and bluer than the sky. But Rin, I can't see myself in them. Rin, I don't know if I'm reflected in them. But surely, it's only me right? Right Rin?**

**I know! We'll bring her over! Clean the place up, have her live right here in my room! That way, she'll only be able to see me! Brilliant, isn't it?**

**….No! NO! I see it in your face! You're going to tell me 'no', aren't you? You're going to deny me…AREN'T YOU?! **

**But you don't understand. YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND! I need her. I love her! I don't need air. I don't need food. I don't need water. All I need is her! Can't…can't you see that? **

**I…I can see it. One day, she'll love someone else. But that can't happen! It can't!" **

Those eyes, the ones with the same blue as mine no longer looked empty but deranged. Unstable. _Frightening._

And so pathetically, stupidly, I once again smiled for him. Except that time, it hurt. It hurt so much to smile, to lie to the boy crying at my feet. But I did it anyways. I only wanted him to smile. And with this resolve, I gathered him in my arms and gently whispered my promises, my lies.

**"Don't worry. I'll ask her for you tomorrow, okay? Everything will be okay. It'll be alright. How could anyone leave some one as amazing as you anyways? Silly boy. Everything will be fine…just fine…" **

I whispered those loving lies, one after the other. I hoped that maybe these would save him…but I knew. I just didn't want to see it.

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How's that? Two chapters in one day! I feel quite accomplished! Well anyways, review please! ^^


	4. Sinful

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Vocaloid or the song virgin suicides in any way, shape or form.

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I started to avoid Len after that.

But who was I really running away from, Len or myself?

I was supposed to know him more than anyone else. I wanted to be there for him, comfort him, save him….but every time I looked into those eyes, all I felt was fear. Pure, unadulterated fear. I think that was one of the biggest sins of all – the very fact that I was scared of my twin brother. _Absolutely __**unforgivable**__._

With each and every day, my lies grew. Lies that I had already talked to Luka. Lies that she told me that her parents were considering his idea. Lies that every thing would be alright. Lies that were no longer loving but selfish. When did that happen?

I started to watch out for Luka and in a sense, it was the very proof that I no longer trusted my brother.

She…she…she was so…innocent. That's another thing I'll never forget, the purity of her innocence. She was still living in a perfect world, miraculously untouched by the insanity that plagued my brother. I despised her for it.

Another sin to go along with the rest.

But with this, I noticed. No matter where Luka was, the blond of my brother was always nearby, _watching_.

Upon that realization, I remember feeling joy. Selfish, sinful joy. I remembered the lies I told myself, the 'assumption' that maybe he was just too scared to be near her and her friends during school. I remember thinking that if he could overcome that 'fear', his 'uneasiness' would disappear. It was a hope full of desperation, one that was not only meant to save him but me as well.

But at that point, was I really suited to save anyone? I know the answer now. I didn't then. Maybe…if only…I don't know anymore.

But what I do know is that I'll never forget that day either.

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Reviews are appreciated ^^


	5. The Endlessly Blue Sky

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Vocaloid or the song virgin suicides in any way, shape or form.

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The bright and blue sky. A strong oak. Silent footsteps, to avoid startling him. A quick tap on the shoulder. A 'warm' smile. 'Assuring' eyes that never met his. A 'gentle' voice that suggested him to go join Luka and her friends. 'Loving' hands that pushed him forward. A sinful being.

REJECTED

Quiet words that barely make a sound. Murmurs from a boy, resigned. Words that killed all hope.

**"Rin…I can't do that. I can't join them…" **

Desperation.

**"But…Len…why not? You two are going out, right? Then it should be fine if you hang out with her friends too…"**

**"No."**

Finality.

**"Rin…she shows them a smile I don't know. With them, she is a different person, a different Luka. One I don't know. **

**I've tried Rin. I've tried so hard – but I can't find my Luka in that girl…because ****_that_**** Luka isn't mine. Surely you understand, don't you, Rin?" **

Pain. Guilt.

**"But don't worry Rin. It'll be ok."**

An eerie calm.

**"I'll just erase everything I don't know. ****_Everything_****. ****_Absolutely everything_****. Then, she'll only be the Luka I know. Only ****_my_**** Luka will exist. Then, only I will exist in her eyes! She'll finally see no one else but me!" **

Insanity.

Fear.

An unstable blue that matched mine.

Rain? No. A blue sky. Tears.

The world sped up. I sped up. Faster. Faster. Away from the insanity that corrupted my brother. Away from the insanity that was corrupting me. To run away from one's own twin. Surely, that was the greatest sin of all?

That day, I the sinner cursed the endlessly blue sky. It had taken everything from me.

And despite it all, I remember wishing, begging for it to save us both.

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Reviews are appreciated ^^


	6. If Only

This is it! The very last chapter...

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Vocaloid or the song virgin suicides in any way, shape or form.

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_This is the end of this story. I will always remember it. Every moment, every word, every tear. Because that is my punishment – to never forget._

I walked into the house at five. All traces of my tears – destroyed. A smile plastered on my face. Desperate ideas stocked up, futile attempts to…to….something. As pathetic as I was, I was once again determined to salvage whatever was left.

But the house was eerily quiet. It was if the air had ceased to breathe. Fear invaded my body because…it was too late. My final act had shattered my brother. By choosing to run away, I abandoned him. That much was made clear – I was to blame.

But no. I told myself that I was being ridiculous. That I was overreacting. I could still save him. It was a sliver of hope. Barely there, barely existent, but I grasped it with all of my might.

And so, once again, I was at his door, afraid. Scared to knock, scared to call out his name. Except this time, I knew why. That time, I didn't fool myself into believing that I was the one that knew Len best; because that was obviously no longer the case. I had already failed to be there for him but maybe…just maybe…there would be something left to save.

As I opened the door, I remember that all I could see was the color of sin, spread before my eyes.

And sitting in the middle of it all…

_If only…if only…ifonlyifonlyifonlyifonlyifonlyifonlyifonlyifonlyifonlyifonlyifonlyifonly_

_If only I tried harder. If only I was a better twin. If only I didn't abandon him. Tried to get him help. I could have done **more**. But I didn't. A sinful twin indeed._

Sitting in the middle of it all was Len.

Blue eyes.

Eyes that matched my own.

Eyes wrecked with insanity.

Eyes full with pride.

Eyes full of love, love for the beauty in his arms.

The beauty that would forevermore be his.

With a smile on his face, he said:

**"Rin…I can finally see myself in her eyes! It's only me that's reflected there! Only me! Isn't that great? Aren't you happy for me? Now she'll always be beautiful. She'll never change. There will finally be no more tomorrows…"**

And as he said this, a single tear rolled down his cheek.

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Well, that's everything! Well...I added a little extra but this is where this story ends. Reviews are always loved and thank you for reading!


	7. Only I

This is something a little extra. This right here is Len's thoughts on the entire throughout the entire story. I actually based Rin's point of view on this and the actual song lyrics. Enjoy~~~

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Vocaloid or the song virgin suicides in any way, shape or form.

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Your eyes are brighter and bluer than the sky.

I'm scared.

What do they see?

Surely it's only me?

Don't look towards tomorrow.

Don't plan for next week, next month, next year.

Don't.

You'll change.

Another scar.

Another mark.

Another moment lost.

It's frightening.

_Don't smile with those eyes._

I don't need air.

I don't need water.

I don't need food.

All I need is you.

_I want to imprison you, who gave me love._

You're beautiful.

But not for long.

Soon your eyes will cloud.

The wrinkles will form.

Your beauty will become stained,

forever lost.

Maybe I should put an end to you while you're still beautiful.

_Is it okay if I kill you?_

You show them a smile that I don't know.

Were you always like this?

I don't know.

I know.

I'll just erase everything I don't know about you.

_For I am the only person that should be in your eyes. _

I look at your eyes.

They scare me.

Do they only see me?

I look into your eyes.

And I see you falling for someone else.

That won't happen, will it?

I see your eyes become clouded over time.

In your eyes, I see the wilted flowers trampled by the roadside.

_I want to forever imprison you, who game me love._

_I want to just put an end to you while you're beautiful._

_Is it okay if I kill you? _

Your blood stains the sheets.

But it's ok.

I'll forgive you.

Because now, you'll always be beautiful.

Because now, you'll always be mine.

Because now, I will forever be reflected in your eyes.

**_Fin._**

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Reviews are always loved! ^^


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